Because the kids will not have the option of Treehouse and Sprouts and the nature of the sermon, combined with the desire to keep on track with our sermon schedule, I thought it would be helpful to cover the text here.
Below is an abridged version of my sermon notes from Sunday (Dec. 20). I hope that it is readable and helpful.
Intro:
God is going to reveal His rule over all things to the world. He’s going to use us to accomplish that task (all of us) – in particular, He’s revealing this through a “sexually whole us.”
Text: Eph. 5:3-14
What does the text say?
Paul turns from self-sacrifice to self-indulgence
(v. 3) Three main subjects, sexual immorality, impurity, and covetousness (greedy)
o These things are not to be named among the set apart ones
• These should not characterize the life of the believer
o These things are completely alien to a god-honoring lifestyle
o Paul works from the broken outward expression (sexual immorality) to the inner working of the heart (greed)
o It's interesting to note how greediness is ultimately expressed through sexual perversion
(v. 4) No filthiness, foolish talk, or crude joking…instead thanksgiving
o Not only is the expressed act wrong, so are perverted discussions, because this is really about what's going on in the heart.
o These types of speech are “out of place” for a people who have been rescued and given new hearts
o Thanksgiving stands in contrast to sexual innuendo, because it recognizes God’s generosity rather than a selfish attitude
o SEX IS NOT AN AMUSEMENT FOR GREEDY PLEASURE
o Casual, vulgar, discourse about it cheapen it’s beauty, steal it’s pleasure and reveal a darkened heart.
• We don't behave this way toward sexuality because we are ashamed or afraid of it, but because we have a high and holy view toward sexuality.
What does the text mean?
• Participation in sexual immorality, “impurity,” and greediness demonstrate a relationship that is broken from God and each other
• We want joy and God-honoring sexuality – our experience is often perverted because our view of sexuality is too permissive or too restrictive.
• There are both proper and improper ways to express sexuality (in practice and in conversation).
How do we resist?
• We are so exposed to sexuality in promotional and negative forms that we lose the wonder of it.
• Divorce
o The number 1 reason for divorce in the US is infidelity
o 80% of those who are unfaithful are caught (the other 20% either admit or simply walk away from the marriage)
• Only 3% marry the person with whom they committed adultery and 75% of those marriages end in divorce (devastation)
o 78% of marriages that have experienced infidelity yet remain together describe the marriage as unhappy or empty (devastating)
• Our view of sexuality is usually too loose, or too restrictive
• Too loose = Sexuality (in all forms) is good and should be liberally pursued
o Anything and everything goes (“as long as you’re comfortable”)
o We should talk openly and graphically
o Exposure to sexually explicit material has no effect on how we express our own sexuality (lie)
• Too restrictive = Sexuality (in most forms) is bad and should be fervently avoided
o It’s a necessary evil
o We shouldn’t even discuss it
o The church has embraced this view OR has only highlighted what is bad about sex and doesn’t “reconstruct” with a biblical view of sex
• Some of us have had bad experience with sexuality because we’ve sinned or because we’ve been sinned against and so sex is gross for us.
o What we need is to have our minds renewed, so that we can have a fresh perspective on sex.
o When there is betrayal, then we need to go back to the foundation of the marriage, because trust has been devastated and the whole thing has exploded. We need community around us during this time
• Most of us don’t have to look at our lives for too long to realize that we have some unbelievable brokenness sexually
o We’re either trying to recover from devastation, or we’re having problems connecting sexually, or we’re struggling with feelings of guilt and shame…on and on.
• We need something with power to come and rescue us…from ourselves.
Why does this matter?
(v. 5-6) Sexual immoral, impure and covetous (greedy) has no inheritance
o Those who act that way and talk that way are excluded
o Not just in the future, but also in the present “has no inheritance”
o Don’t be deceived…exclusion is certain!
o These things invite the wrath of God
(v. 7) Therefore, don’t participate with those who do such things
o This doesn’t say to stay away from them, but not to participate with them!
• Joy/wonder/intimacy and the picture of God with His people is lost when we treat sexuality lightly
How is Jesus the hero?
• Jesus’ death on the cross breaks the back of Satan’s deception about sexuality
• We can be forgiven for past sexual sins and have the opportunity to have future security, peace, comfort etc. that godly sexuality brings
• Jesus' Kingly rule frees us to use our sexuality as joy-filled acts of worship
(v. 8) You used to do this, but now you are “children of light” so act like it.
o Main motivation is not simply punishment (or withholding of blessing), but a living out of the mighty change that occurs because of Jesus.
• We should set godly examples when participating and talking about sexuality
(v. 9) Your walk should be categorized with what is good, right and true
o SHOW THAT YOU ARE NOT GIVEN OVER TO IMMORALITY, IMPURITY, ETC
o The Bible does not forbid talking about sex or engaging in sexuality, but it does outlay the right picture of it.
What does repentance look like?
(v. 10-14) Strong encouragement to change way of life – no longer be consumed with darkness, but expose the right view of sexuality on your former dark past = Jesus offers wholeness, even among the sexually broken
• Sexuality is not to be God, nor is it to be avoided, but to be sacred, enjoyed and valued in it’s place, for what it is.
• Even the sexually broken can experience wholeness
Sex is a gift – an act of worship within marriage
• Marriage is the context of sexuality – leave mom and dad (grow up), cling to wife (get married), become one (sexuality of persons)
(v. 10) Be discerning = there isn’t an absolute standard here
• NOTE – there is not an outline of how to participate and talk about sexuality – there are prohibitions and freedom
Guidelines for sexuality
• Sexuality should promote “oneness”
o This means it is part of a lifetime commitment to one another (not a one night commitment to yourself
o This means that others are not allowed into your bedroom (Heb. 13:4).
• Lust for anybody besides your spouse is sin (Matt. 5:28)
• Unmarried = fornication
• Married = adultery
• No porn, no fantasy life, don’t encourage your spouse to look like other people. Your spouse is your standard of beauty.
• It should not be accompanied with shame for one of the partners
o We all come into the marriage relationship with some sexual “baggage,” which will relent as the relationship grows.
• One of the ways Missio exposes light on this issue is through our Hope House ministry – a recovery home for teenage girls who have been tricked/forced into prostitution
Questions for Reflection
• What are the top three things that need to change in me?
o The views I have that are greedy or dark
o The practices that do not promote “oneness” with my spouse.
o Confess those to Jesus, to your spouse (if applicable)
